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TEACHER:    Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA:         Here it  is.
TEACHER:     Correct.  Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS:           Maria.
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TEACHER:   John,  why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN:          You told me to do it  without using tables.
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TEACHER:   Glenn, how do you spell  'crocodile' ?
GLENN:       'K-R-O-K-O-D- I-A-L'
TEACHER:   No,  that's wrong
GLENN:        Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.   
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TEACHER:   Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD:     H I J K L M N O..
TEACHER:   What are you talking about?
DONALD:     Yesterday you said it's H to O.   
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TEACHER:   Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago..
WINNIE:       Me!
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TEACHER:   Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN:          Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.   
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TEACHER:      Millie, give me a sentence starting  with ' I ' .
MILLIE:          I  is....
TEACHER:      No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE:           All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'      
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TEACHER:    Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON:         No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.   
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TEACHER:     Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's... Did you copy his?
CLYDE :         No, sir. It's the ! same dog.   
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TEACHER:   Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD:     A teacher

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