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In fact I am in the profession of people communication, may I humbly advise a revised written style & tone that yields better result and a friendly discussion atmosphere :).
Original version:
§ë²¼¼ÐÃD: ½Ð¤J¨Óµû¤U... (¬ä¼Ò«¬·N¸q)
§Aı±oµL°ÝÃD, §¹¥þµL»~¾É¦¨¥÷
§A»{¬°¦n¦³°ÝÃD, ¬O»~¾É¤FŪªÌ, ø´L«¨î§@ªÌ.
½Ð¤ß¥®ð©MµoªíÓ¤H·N¨£, §Ú¥u¬O·Q¤ÀªR©M¤F¸Ñ¤U¬Y¨Ç¤H¤ßºA.
²³©Ò©Pª¾, ¼Ò«¬¦¨«~µo³ø°Ï¸Ì¦³¦ì°]¤O¶¯«pªº¤H¥S (§Úø·|¶}¦W, ¤j®aÀ³¸Óª¾), ¸g±`ݯ°ª¤â¬ä¼Ò«¬, µM«á©ñ¤W¦¨«~µo³ø°Ï, ÁöµM¥L¤j¤j°¦¦r¸Üø«Y¦Û¤v¬ä, ¦Û¤v¥u¬O¬M¬Û. ¦ý§O¤H¥hÆg°¦§@«~"¥¿"®É, Ê\¤Sø·|¥h¼á²M. ¥H«e¸Ó¦ì¤H¥S·|¦b¦¨«~Âàµo°Ï©ñ©«, ¦ý«á´Á´N©ñ¥h¼Ò«¬¦¨«~µo³ø°Ï.
§Ú¦nø©ú¸Ó¤H¥S¨s³º«§¤ßºA? §Aݯ¤H¬äø«Y°ÝÃD, §A©ñ¤W¾¤³£ø«Y°ÝÃD, ¦ýÂI¸Ñø¥h¦¨«~Âàµo°Ï? §Úı±o¦n©úÅã»~¾É¤H¦a²´§Ö§Ö¥H¬°«YÊ\¬ä, §Úı±o¹ï¨î§@ªÌ´Xø¤½¥. §ÚµL´c·N, ¥u¬O·Q¤F«Ü¤[³£ø©ú.
Revised version:
§ë²¼¼ÐÃD: ½Ð¤J¨Óµû¤U... (¥N¤u¼Ò«¬©ó¦¨«~µo³ø°Ïµo³ø¬O§_»~¾ÉŪªÌ)
(¬ä¼Ò«¬·N¸q must be replaced as it committed a linguistic problem of ¤Wºõ¤W½u)
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§A»{¬°¦³°ÝÃD, ¬O»~¾É¤FŪªÌ, ¹ï¨î§@ªÌ¤£¤½¥
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¼Ò«¬¦¨«~µo³ø°Ï¸Ì¦³¦ì°]¤O¶¯«pªºªO¤Í, ¸g±`©e°U°ª¤â¬ä¼Ò«¬, µM«á©ñ¤W¦¨«~µo³ø°Ï. ¥LÁöµM¦³©ú½Tªí©ú©e°U¼Ò«¬®v¥N¬ä, ¦Û¤v¥u¬O¬M¬Û; ¦ý§Úµoı·í§O¤H¥hÆg§@«~"¥¿"®É, ¥L¨S¦³¼á²M. (¥H«e¸ÓªO¤Í·|¦b¦¨«~Âàµo°Ï©ñ©«, ¦ý«á´Á´N©ñ¥h¼Ò«¬¦¨«~µo³ø°Ï.) <;this segment is wrong information, advised to delete.
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[ ¥»©«³Ì«á¥Ñ Gundam@EFSF ©ó 2008-11-18 08:08 PM ½s¿è ]
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